Family

Silent

Silent, your thoughts that are with me.
They accompany me, step by step.
Always there, the security that surrounds me.

Not tangible, indescribable,
I know you are here.
A call, a message away.

As I get out of my car,
A last look at your lines,
I know I am alone,
yet I’ll take you with me.

You know, there is never
going to be another decision for me.
I go, while you are wishing me the best,
knowing about my pain,
but still, you want to go with me.

My goal, so far away,
The one and only pure love, that drives me,
It is also your love that carries me.

This war cannot be won,
from anyone else but me.
Your hands are tied,
I am working to become an unleashing artist
for mine.

Without words, I am assured,
behind me stands an army,
that would like to win the fight for me.
My army, my protection, my shield.
The incredible people
In my life: my
Family, my friends.

Silent warriors,
but your words silent,
having no power on my battlefield.

Loud and strong in my heart,
Knowing, waiting for me.
Accepting me, as I come,
my head bends, in defeat.
Certainly, I will get up again.
Look at you every day,
Full of gratitude and pride.

I would lead the war,
even without you, behind me and by my side,
without these wings that carry me,
Being my backwind.

I was blessed, by silent wings
that bring me your strength,
Your love,
Your courage.
Even though, they are silent,
from the outside.

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Thankful

„She gave her all for me. I cannot leave her hanging all alone”, Klara told herself while
taking her shoes and jacket off. She just got back home from visiting her grandma.
Right there, on her little table in the hallway, the postcard her parents sent her was sitting.
This one was from Malta, it was one of many.

Klara’s dad was a successful international correspondent for a well-known online magazine.
One of the most famous in Europe. A few years ago, he changed his job from being a senior editor in Berlin, for this big chance. Her mother and him, left just weeks after he made that decision. Back in during time, Klara was still studying art-history at the university. She got her degree and started to work in a local art gallery. While loving her job, other than work, there was not much holding her in Berlin but, there was Grandma. She already had been care-dependent before her parents left. They took care of everything and, that’s why she had the luxury of having a private nurse living with her. Still, there was something missing: Family.

More than once, her parents asked her to pull up stakes and leave to be with them.
The magazine her dad worked for, offered Klara a job as a columnist, for a weekly art feature. She could travel the world and explore the local art, together with her parents.
Indeed, the task of writing something profound every week scared her a little but then again, she was sure she could succeed. Each time when she left to see her grandma, Klara told her herself, that she’d talk to her about it. She never had the heart to do so.
Too heavy, the guilt arising in her heart. The guilty feeling of leaving her alone.
The loneliness she’d probably fall into.

Not only once, she came home in anger. Not like her grandmother ever said anything that made her mad, but because, Klara, was such a coward. She was simply not able to make the words leave her lips. Also, she was mad at her parents. They were just doing whatever their own plan was about, being closer related to grandma than she was.
For sure, they took good care of her. From afar.

The next morning, Klara glanced the last time onto the postcard her parents had sent while taking her jacket. On her way to the subway, she built up her speech in her mind: “Grandma, I love you, but I don’t want to waste that opportunity”,
“Please don’t cry. I will come to visit as often as possible”,
“I hesitated for so long, but now I’ve made my choice”.
Just as she turned the key in the lock of her grandma’s door, her heart was beating heavily. Anne-Marie, the nurse of her grandma was waiting for her. Ready to take her jacket.
“Go inside, Klara. She’s waiting already”, Anne-Marie said, in a happy tone.
Klara walked through the big, white folding doors into the living room of the old lady, who was sitting in her wheelchair, facing the big window.
“My baby, I’m so happy you are here”, she said, with an angelic smile on her face.
Autumn leaves were dancing in the wind outside.
“I, I am so happy to see you, too, Grandma”, Klara said. Almost pushing the words out.
How the heck could she even think about that? Exactly, she could not.

Gratitude is sometimes a bond, but often a chain.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Rely on me

Your satisfied purring is what makes me happy,
I stroke your soft fur.
You are awake, you see me as I am.
Snuggle up to me, to me. Kissing my face.

You come running to me when I get home.
You’re happy to see me, your body language shows it.
You challenge me to a game, never getting enough of it.
You are so happy, I am too.

You sleep in my arms, as it was paradise,
right here. Yes, it is.
I gently kiss your head, „I love you,“ I whisper.
You make so happy, just like you love me.

—-

Joyfully you jump up, your smile full of bliss.
Body language, pure and honest.
You waited for me,
you would wait no matter how long it takes.

You do not understand why I sometimes have to go.
Sometimes you whiner quietly when I leave you at home.
I know you’re fine, even if I’m not there.
My heart still aches, I know you miss me.

Far are your jumps, over endless fields.
„That must be heaven,“ I read in your gaze.
Happy you are rolling in the grass, sprinting again.
I whistle, you come back to me.
To me.


You’ve seen me from a distance,
Heard my car.
Body language, honest and genuine.
I reach my hand out for you,
See the love in your gaze.

I climb over the fence,
to get to you,
You do not have a clue, how big and strong you are.
Getting as close to me as you can,
blowing satisfied.

I’m on your back, and we fly.
You have your own plan,
but you obey, your ears sharpened.
So happy, that we both make a trip,
You and me. We fly.


Trust me, I’ll give you everything I can.
Will not leave alone, love you, with all my heart.

Until your strength is no longer enough to carry me,
when you cannot get up anymore.
Until your last purring sounds, your gaze blurred,
when you’re tired of life.
Until your last walk, when you are not hungry anymore.
When your toys remain untouched.

If they say you cannot live on,
I have to decide.
Letting you go, will cut my heart into pieces,
I do not want to be without you.
I’ll let you go, though, if I have to.
I’ll stay with you until the end.
Love you forever. Forever and always more.
I’ll know I had paradise with you.
I will know, that’s exactly what I gave you.
Everything.

Trust me, I’ll be there,
when your breath dies.
Hold you and love you.
Tell you „thank you, for the time in paradise“,
pray that we meet again.
I know where the pure souls are, you go to this place.
Trust me, I will do my best,
so I can get there, too.

Verlass‘ Dich auf mich

Dein zufriedenes Schnurren ist es, was mich glücklich macht,
ich streiche über Dein weiches Fell.
Du bist wach, siehst mich, wie ich bin.
Schmiegst Dich an, an mich. Küsst mein Gesicht.

Kommst mir entgegen, wenn ich nach Hause komme.
Freust Dich, mich zu sehen. Deine Körpersprache zeigt es.
Forderst mich auf zum Spiel, bekommst nicht genug davon.
Du bist so glücklich, ich bin es auch.

In meinem Arm schläfst Du ein, zufrieden, als wäre das hier
das Paradies. Ja, so ist es.
Sanft küsse ich Deinen Kopf: „Ich habe Dich lieb“, flüstere ich.
Du machst mich glücklich, liebst mich einfach so.

—-

Freudig springst Du in die Höhe, Dein Lächeln voller Jubel.
Körpersprache, rein und ehrlich.
Du hast gewartet auf mich,
würdest warten, egal, wie lange es dauert.

Du verstehst nicht, warum ich manchmal gehen muss.
Manchmal winselst Du leise, wenn ich Dich zu Hause zurücklasse.
Ich weiß, es geht Dir gut, auch wenn ich nicht da bin.
Mein Herz schmerzt trotzdem, ich weiß Du vermisst mich.

Weit sind Deine Sprünge, über endlose Felder.
„Das muss der Himmel sein“, lese ich in Deinem Blick.
Glücklich wälzt Du Dich im Gras, sprintest erneut los.
Ich pfeife, Du kommst zurück zu mir.
Zu mir.

—-
Du hast mich schon von weitem gesehen,
meinen Wagen gehört.
Körpersprache, ehrlich und echt.
Ich strecke meine Hand aus nach Dir,
sehe die Liebe in Deinem Blick.

Ich steige über den Zaun,
gehe auf Dich zu,
Du weißt nicht, wie groß und stark Du bist.
Schmiegst Dich an, so dicht wie möglich,
schnaufst zufrieden.

Auf Deinem Rücken und wir fliegen.
Du hast Deinen eigenen Plan,
gehorchst aber, die Ohren gespitzt.
Glücklich, dass wir beide eine Reise machen,
Du und ich. Wir fliegen.


Verlass Dich auf mich, ich werde Dir alles geben was ich kann.
Lasse Dich nicht allein, liebe Dich, mit ganzem Herzen.

Bis Deine Kraft nicht mehr ausreicht, mich zu tragen,
Du nicht mehr aufstehen kannst.
Bis Dein letztes Schnurren erklingt, Dein Blick verschwimmt,
Du müde bist, vom Leben.
Bis Dein letzter Spaziergang kommt, Du nichts mehr essen möchtest.
Dein Spielzeug unberührt bleibt.

Wenn sie sagen, Du kannst nicht mehr,
ich muss entscheiden.
Der Abschied wird mein Herz entzweien,
möchte nicht ohne Dich sein.
Werde Dich dennoch gehen lassen, wenn ich muss.
Ich bleibe bei Dir, bis zum Schluss.
Dich für immer lieben. Für immer und immer mehr.
Ich werde wissen, ich hatte das Paradies mit Dir.
Werde wissen, genau das ist es, was ich Dir gab.
Alles.

Verlass Dich auf mich, ich werde da sein,
wenn Dein Atem stirbt.
Dich halten und Dich lieben.
Dir sagen „Danke, für die Zeit im Paradies“,
beten, dass wir uns wiedersehen.
Ich weiß, dort wo die reinen Seelen sind, dort gehst Du hin.
Verlass Dich auf mich, mein Bestes werde ich geben,
damit ich auch dorthin kommen darf.