Love

What we are willing to buy

Snow-white laundry, free of any spots, in just one load.
The very new product. An innovation on the market.
From off the shelves, the magic material migrates directly into our hands.
„Did it work?“ Asks our friend a week later.
„Alright, but I expected more,“ we return.

Art of technology, unsurpassed in operation and functionality.
Ingenious and slim design, simply great.
Well, of course, it’s going to cost a little more. Right?
After weeks of use, we wonder if this new system, our own little droid, was worth the money.

We are ready to believe, ready to buy
countless lies of advertising.
Propaganda and bad news in our daily mix.
We are ready to believe. If not immediately, we’ll for sure get there.

What we are not willing to believe is

I love you.

Let us be friends.

You are special.

Of course, we’ve often been deceived or even disappointed, correct?
You know, it’s not like we have an infinite number of chances.
Right here, it doesn’t matter if different people are asking for a chance.
Better punish the people who never hurt us, because of all those who did.
For sure, we won’t allow ourselves to fall for this again.

The latest product, although the last was already a disappointment, is on sale.
Of course, we reserve a place for us in the queue immediately.
Doesn’t it just sound too good?

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How many?

How many nights she spent,
in wait for the infinite night.
The most beautiful of all, the „now and forever“.

How many tears she cried,
without ever having those for true love,
until now, the ones that burn her skin.

How many dreams she dreamt,
adventure and cheering experienced all together,
until she found the one dream, her “every night”.

How many moments she was happy,
has laughed out loud,
without knowing what happiness
truly is. Until now.

How many times she pleaded,
on her knees, for the one,
coming to her life, until now.
Until he came.

How many years, months, days, hours
and minutes are still on her route,
before eternity is here.
How many?

Questions

What drives you?
Which factor motivates you?
What makes push your limits?
Where’s your goal?

Who owns your heart?
Have you found this special person?
Are you looking for him or her?
Do you feel loved, in any way?

What keeps you awake at night?
What is it that fills your thoughts,
giving you sleepless nights?
Why can’t they be delayed, these thoughts?

What is it that makes you strong?
Where do you get your strength from?
Maybe you had to fight, without having a choice?
Are you a protector, and if so, who
protects you?

Is it just this life right here for you?
Do you think we have only one chance?
Do you think there are many lives
or one after the “right here”?

What makes you happy?
A smile on your face,
the world seems fine.
What is it that makes you happy?
For just a moment, or maybe forever?

What music makes you want to dance?
Whether your body or your mind,
What music, makes you want to move?
Can you describe it, this feeling?

Do you feel like dancing, maybe with me?

Silent

Silent, your thoughts that are with me.
They accompany me, step by step.
Always there, the security that surrounds me.

Not tangible, indescribable,
I know you are here.
A call, a message away.

As I get out of my car,
A last look at your lines,
I know I am alone,
yet I’ll take you with me.

You know, there is never
going to be another decision for me.
I go, while you are wishing me the best,
knowing about my pain,
but still, you want to go with me.

My goal, so far away,
The one and only pure love, that drives me,
It is also your love that carries me.

This war cannot be won,
from anyone else but me.
Your hands are tied,
I am working to become an unleashing artist
for mine.

Without words, I am assured,
behind me stands an army,
that would like to win the fight for me.
My army, my protection, my shield.
The incredible people
In my life: my
Family, my friends.

Silent warriors,
but your words silent,
having no power on my battlefield.

Loud and strong in my heart,
Knowing, waiting for me.
Accepting me, as I come,
my head bends, in defeat.
Certainly, I will get up again.
Look at you every day,
Full of gratitude and pride.

I would lead the war,
even without you, behind me and by my side,
without these wings that carry me,
Being my backwind.

I was blessed, by silent wings
that bring me your strength,
Your love,
Your courage.
Even though, they are silent,
from the outside.

Wait

Stop waiting for the special moment,
the magic, the enlightenment.

Stop waiting for the big, true love,
good things are often closer than you may think.

Stop waiting for perfection,
it’s nothing more than a fairy tale.

Stop waiting for luck and happiness,
be happy, right here, right now.

Stop waiting for the sparkling idea,
go ahead, find some inspiration.

Stop waiting for the phone to ring,
take it, dial, take action.

Stop waiting for tomorrow, today,
here and now is the day.

Stop waiting, you may miss something.
Stop waiting, time is running out.
Stop waiting, for everything to fall into place.
Live now!

While these suggestions are not wrong,
they are not completely right either:

The one who’s believing in magic is ready to wait for it.
True, big and never-ending love, is sometimes not easy to find.Perfection, not to wait but to strive for.
Luck and happiness right here and now, but not as change for the price of the real thing.
Found inspiration could be the route to the great idea.
The call you are waiting for, maybe it needs a bit more time.
Today is one of your days, but tomorrow could be the “day of days”.

Wait.
The one who’s able to wait, because he wants to, is unbreakable.

Thankful

„She gave her all for me. I cannot leave her hanging all alone”, Klara told herself while
taking her shoes and jacket off. She just got back home from visiting her grandma.
Right there, on her little table in the hallway, the postcard her parents sent her was sitting.
This one was from Malta, it was one of many.

Klara’s dad was a successful international correspondent for a well-known online magazine.
One of the most famous in Europe. A few years ago, he changed his job from being a senior editor in Berlin, for this big chance. Her mother and him, left just weeks after he made that decision. Back in during time, Klara was still studying art-history at the university. She got her degree and started to work in a local art gallery. While loving her job, other than work, there was not much holding her in Berlin but, there was Grandma. She already had been care-dependent before her parents left. They took care of everything and, that’s why she had the luxury of having a private nurse living with her. Still, there was something missing: Family.

More than once, her parents asked her to pull up stakes and leave to be with them.
The magazine her dad worked for, offered Klara a job as a columnist, for a weekly art feature. She could travel the world and explore the local art, together with her parents.
Indeed, the task of writing something profound every week scared her a little but then again, she was sure she could succeed. Each time when she left to see her grandma, Klara told her herself, that she’d talk to her about it. She never had the heart to do so.
Too heavy, the guilt arising in her heart. The guilty feeling of leaving her alone.
The loneliness she’d probably fall into.

Not only once, she came home in anger. Not like her grandmother ever said anything that made her mad, but because, Klara, was such a coward. She was simply not able to make the words leave her lips. Also, she was mad at her parents. They were just doing whatever their own plan was about, being closer related to grandma than she was.
For sure, they took good care of her. From afar.

The next morning, Klara glanced the last time onto the postcard her parents had sent while taking her jacket. On her way to the subway, she built up her speech in her mind: “Grandma, I love you, but I don’t want to waste that opportunity”,
“Please don’t cry. I will come to visit as often as possible”,
“I hesitated for so long, but now I’ve made my choice”.
Just as she turned the key in the lock of her grandma’s door, her heart was beating heavily. Anne-Marie, the nurse of her grandma was waiting for her. Ready to take her jacket.
“Go inside, Klara. She’s waiting already”, Anne-Marie said, in a happy tone.
Klara walked through the big, white folding doors into the living room of the old lady, who was sitting in her wheelchair, facing the big window.
“My baby, I’m so happy you are here”, she said, with an angelic smile on her face.
Autumn leaves were dancing in the wind outside.
“I, I am so happy to see you, too, Grandma”, Klara said. Almost pushing the words out.
How the heck could she even think about that? Exactly, she could not.

Gratitude is sometimes a bond, but often a chain.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Nothing – part 3

Darkness turned into light.
My limbs, still hurting,
but full of grace, I took the misery.

Voices have been heard,
just like music, but one was special.
Beautiful, soft and close.

A hand, on mine,
I recognized this feeling.
This was the hand that held me for so long.

The storm was over,
the torturing nothing through the ages,
towards a better era.

Love that hit me,
covering all the pain.
Love, that I gave, erasing all my misery.

Still, blurred my sight,
little by little coming back to me,
dripping like soft rain.

The eyes I looked into,
the face I saw right in front of me,
I felt as I knew it, saw it before,
as I’ve lived this moment already.

Tears were running down the face,
just as it was back then,
exactly like this. Being robbed of this memory all my life,
I knew for sure, I’ve lived it before.

“My child”, she said.
“Mama”, I wanted to say, but my voice wasn’t ready.
“My darling, I knew you’d make it through this”,
“Mama, I love you”, my lips shaped voiceless.

A new beginning.
Not a new life, but mine.
Yet, it starts over again, weak and small.
The scene almost alike, full of hope.

The light, stronger than darkness.
Saved from an ocean of nothing.
It was hope that triumphed,
at last, it didn’t die.

The watch

„Don’t turn around“, you say to me. Pulling me closer to you.
“Where should I look, but at you?“, I ask.
I don’t say more about what I’m thinking, you know, we both know.

Time is speeding, the time in which it’s just us two. Nobody else.  The cursor of this watch is beside your eyes, all I see.
Cruelly, it’s moving forward, there’s no sound.

Laying my head on your shoulder,
I breathe in all your heat.
Fighting against the urge, to look at the cursor. Again.
As brutal as it’s moving, intensive pain in my chest.
My throat is closing up, even tighter.
I wonder how I’m still able to sit up but
I know, it’s you who’s holding me up.  Guilt is rising inside of me, shouldn’t it be me,
who’s holding you?

Our time is running, too fast it’s running from us.
All towards the moment, when they will come,
to give us a few minutes. Minutes!
My hands are shaking, I don’t know how to control myself, up from here.
I want to scream, but remain silent.
“I love you”, is all I have to say.
I want to cry, but I know that will hurt you more.
“I love you”, tears are running down my cheeks.
Unable to stop them.

You hold me up so I can stand.
Without you, I cannot stand straight.
But I must.
Until our time stands still.
I can.
Until this watch doesn’t tick any longer, silently.
I want.
I want our eternity.

Until this damn clock is shot down for all time.